In the Beginning...

While I sit here writing this the house is unusually quiet. My sister, niece and great-nephew are visiting friends who are about to embark on a journey south where they are moving. I am seriously thinking about stowing away in their moving van right before it pulls out. I don't they would be pleased to find me among the living room furniture when they unpack though.

Mom and dad are, well, I don't know where they are. Mom was bored, dad was reluctant, especially with the snow coming down. But dad likes to keep her happy. You know the old adage, "Happy wife, happy life"? So, there they go for parts unknown.

I find myself thinking a lot about what has unfolded the last few weeks in my life and it's opened the floodgates of a gamut of emotions. After a lot of praying and worrying (yeah, I know we're not supposed to do that but I am human so get over it already!) I got a new job, left former jobs (one of which I miss VERY much) and have been through a very emotional relationship change in my life. I am still nursing those wounds and my heart and soul are trying to heal. When someone hits you with this kind of thing, it's like having the air knocked out of your lungs and you can't catch your breath, for what seems like an eternity.

I am praying to God every moment of every day possible. Not just because of that but because I am left with the question of "what do I do now?" Well, actually two questions. "What am I here for?" works too. I feel lost, confused and out of touch. Now I am praying to God for guidance, inspiration, healing, protection and insight. I know that's a lot to ask for but He did say, "ask and ye shall receive". So, I am asking!

I know one thing for sure, I miss my family. Yes, I know I live with most of my immediate family, but I miss my other family members. Cousins, aunts, uncles, and close friends who are family too, all of those who live close but we hardly ever see because of life. It gets in the way. We all work and have families we are taking care of, well, OK, I don't but they do. But I miss them all very much. And I need them right now. I need to feel loved and safe. I need to laugh and love them back and maybe even cry really hard while holding on to a really tight hug! There's nothing in the world like a really good cry on the shoulder of someone who loves you unconditionally and doesn't judge.

I know this seems a little heavy on the seriousness for my first time out, but it's my blog and I'll cry if I want to! But I needed to get these things off my chest and I know the people who love me the most will bear with me and give me advice as needed.

All of you who are reading this mean the world to me. And I appreciate each and every one of you! Hang in there with me. It will get better from here.